Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
