So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize