she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
there is puke in my bra ... again
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