I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
