Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
