Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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