It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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