There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
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