even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
how do flat chested girls get laid?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize
