3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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