The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
