Having a random hookup so left but love u
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I think a kid would responsible me up
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
