Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
