They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
