Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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