Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Randomize
