I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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