standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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