Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I just gift wrapped bread.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
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