Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
