watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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