yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
