What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
