you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize