So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
