My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
