Come see our sink grown plant.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Houston, we have a squirter
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
