just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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