She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
