Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
40s are totally the cure
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize