so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
