Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
