How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
