"it" just moved
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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