i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
