I love black thongs
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
