I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
handjob tips. give me some.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
