Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
