one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
Randomize
