You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Success! We fucked roommates!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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