I think I am morally bankrupt
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
