Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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