i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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