I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Two words: nipple clamps
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