I'll bet she douches with gravy.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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