i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
