you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
