Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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