I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Well I just put wine in my tea
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
