dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
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