Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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