I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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