i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Barsexuality is the new black.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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