"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
