The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Sponge bath it is.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
