apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
