If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
