I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
