I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
