I love black thongs
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
