how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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