I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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