I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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