just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
